mymultitudeofsins:

stayhappygetinspired:

zombisexual:

mindoir:

jamonjam:

rosainfiore:

ghosti:

calvalier:

your sister is kidnapped and so are a bunch of other girls with pointy ears? but you have to sail around in a magic talking boat and complete a bunch of tasks and errands before anyone will help you and you can save them

also there’s a pirate chick who talks to you through a cube

so you’re this scientist guy who went to MIT and majored in this thing you’ve probably never heard of and will probably think is a made up science term, and he fucked everything up in the previous installment of the series by throwing a space rock into this giant three story laser and opened a portal to actual space hell, so now you’re back and in the wrong place at the right time you guess?? you really like crowbars even though they’re actually the shittiest weapon in game, and garden gnomes follow you, and antlions aren’t a kooky bug they’re your worst fucking nightmare also old people are the enemy (so are bombs that don’t xplode but let out thousands of crabs)

a computer makes you run tests for like an entire day that get increasingly more complicated and frustrating but then you turn the computer off and you leave.

You wake up in a frozen Tundra not knowing what species you are and then you end up having to run around killing forest creatures with whatever you find lying around and sell their skins to local merchants.

well in the end

Basically every one you love dies

the universe turns to shit

random sar child

… oh wait

You are a lawyer.

So basically, you’re this bitch ass kid that attacks shadows with this dumb ass key. oh, there are pussy Disney characters there too.

So, basically, you’re this top secret CIA agent or some shit and throughout this fuckass series, you go through different time periods and you kill people and you look like a badass and your name is snake and there is this bitch who radios you all the time with some hi-tech information bullshit that you don’t give a fuck about and then your brother is this fuckass bad guy and apparently you had some problems but i guess just kill him lol and then you just put the asparagus in that asians chilli hole and END GAME.

9 random men from across the world compete in what is supposed to be a team-based FPS, but really is a fashion simulation game, with people offering 500 dollars for one hat.